*Sigh*...Well, I'm realizing that everything happens for a reason-even though at times, we do not understand it, despite how much we would like to. I also realize that for everything there is a season.

Lately things with me have been okay. The best thing has been my workouts! I thank God for my ability to kill the gym! The gym for me is a safe haven, it's my 2nd peaceful place during a storm.

I realized on my birthday that i have gained 26lbs since July. Wow..I was in complete shock and part of me wanted to get mad and then just cry. Happy Birthday, right? Instead, I took it in stride and said, that will be the last time that I ever see 'that' number on MY scale.

I lost my job and it devastated me. I got mad, then I cried, then I got mad again, then I prayed.
I moved out, only to have to spend more money to move back home, I cried, then I got mad, then I cried-then I prayed.
I saw the number on my scale, I got mad, I wanted to cry, I wanted to cry, I wanted to cry, then I prayed.
I cleaned out my apartment, moved everything out and back home. I went back today to do the final clean up, it was empty, I stood there and tried to smile, but I wanted to cry and get mad, but I just prayed.
I got mad at my best friend, really upset-more so then I have ever been in years w/ her-I almost cried, I got mad, got teary eyed, treated her mean, then prayed. (I think I should've prayed before I treated her inapporiately.)

Despite all the hard times and heart ache, here I stand. Here I am and despite it all, I'm blessed and still trying to encourge others. I have not been myself lately and I think it happens to us all and were all entitled to go through something and deal with it in a manner that we deem necessary.

I'm learning that what seems like a setback can be used as a stepping stone. Yes, I'm hurt, somewhat angry, and discourged-but I am making a choice-and I choose life. It says in the bible, life and death are in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat it's fruit. So, no i'm not going to sit here and sing a sorry song and cry and whine and complain. I refuse to do that. I might be down, but I am NOT out.

So, like I said, Wednesday was the LAST day that I would see 'that' number on my scale. In my mind, it's do or die right now. I have fought my whole entire life with my weight and the scale-I'm tired of it and now, I realize that I have to be committed to eating natural and staying in the gym FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! Even if you can only go for 30 minutes, it's better then nothing!

Life is now getting back to normal again, so now I can focus my all on the gym, a new certification, my articles on www.shapefit.com, and my relationship with God. This year is my year, it is my journey to get to know myself better, to prevail and reach beyond limits. It's my year to grow closer to Christ and do some house cleaning.

I encourge everyone to keep a journal and focus on the what's in front of you, not whats behind you. I can't change yesterday or even an hour ago, but I can change the future and change my thinking as well.

So, it's operation HH.

*Your's in Christ & Health*

With all your might

Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might. -Ecclesiastes 9.10

I stumbled on this verse in a book of mine today and it stood out to me. I have read alot in the book of Ecclesiastes, but I don't recall ever reading this verse. However, I love it and it's just what I personally need right now.

For the past few months, I have not given this part of my life my all. I allowed something that meant so much to me be taken away by a wide array of other issues. I have allowed myself to get in a pit, a deep, dark, lonely, pit! I often have pitty parties there and to my suprise, no one comes but me. (okay, i'm not really suprised. lol)

You see, even the bible tells you-whatever you do-do it with all you have!! I think when we lose our might, we lose our strength, determination, dedication, and commitment-mentally and physically.

I'm BACK, about 12lbs heavier, unemployed, and blessed despite it all. Things went from good to bad, and from bad to worse, but still I stand in faith. When all else is gone, I still have my faith. So I am faithfully back to being fit-where I was happy.

I know where my body has been at previously, where it is currently, and where it can go if I give it my all. You see, I realize there is no reason to do anything in this life unless you do it whole heartedly, with all that you have! Why waste your time?

For the past few months, I have been faithful to my workouts and eating, then i'd fall off my wagon and kind of hang out in my pit-alone and bitter. I used my 10hr work days as an excuse, among other things.

Sometimes, in order for HIS plan to pan out the way it's intended he needs to remove you from situations, allow things to open your eyes, and force you to lean on him. Ha-well, here I am, leaning on him, because that is all that I have! Thank God for his grace!

I no longer work 10 hour days! I believe in my heart this was a blessing in disguise. It still hurts that I lost my job, but for everything there is a reason. I had to move out of my apartment and back to my parents house. Despite moving back home and losing my job-I see the silver lining!

He gives everyone a vision-its really up to us to get there with his guidance. Here's mine-to go back to personal training part time and to school full time. I want to become a physical therapist. By living at home, i no longer have to pay rent or any major bills and since I'm not working, I can go to school full time. I was blessed enough to be able to pay my car off, so that is taken care of now! AMEN! Also, since I will be collecting unemployement for 6 months, i can throw myself into the gym and each workout, take another class (I'm thinking sports nutrition), and sharpen my writing skills.

I'm blessed! I'm no longer beating myself up about how far i have fallen off. I am thanking God that HE CAUGHT ME and has allowed me a chance to get right again, but on a deeper level!

First goal is to get back to my normal weight of 150-155lbs. I have alot to work with. LOL...I realize that my body is his temple, so in my eyes, this body transformation is KINGDOM BUSINESS!

I can't exactly go back to personal training looking like this, I just personally do NOT feel positive about that, however-I know where my body can go and I have a good idea of what it is capable of handling. So, now it's time for me to run the race that lies ahead and to do it with all my heart and might.

Don't give up and don't beat yourself up. Keep your eyes and heart on the Lord and I promise he will bring you through, he will guide you! Just keep your eyes on him first.

So, when you go back into the gym, go back with all your might! No more pink vinyl dumb-bells, or gagging while you are on the treadmill!When you walk back into the gym-Go in there with all your might, as a solider ready for war!!!

*yours in health and fitness*

HH-Heather