*Sigh*...Well, I'm realizing that everything happens for a reason-even though at times, we do not understand it, despite how much we would like to. I also realize that for everything there is a season.

Lately things with me have been okay. The best thing has been my workouts! I thank God for my ability to kill the gym! The gym for me is a safe haven, it's my 2nd peaceful place during a storm.

I realized on my birthday that i have gained 26lbs since July. Wow..I was in complete shock and part of me wanted to get mad and then just cry. Happy Birthday, right? Instead, I took it in stride and said, that will be the last time that I ever see 'that' number on MY scale.

I lost my job and it devastated me. I got mad, then I cried, then I got mad again, then I prayed.
I moved out, only to have to spend more money to move back home, I cried, then I got mad, then I cried-then I prayed.
I saw the number on my scale, I got mad, I wanted to cry, I wanted to cry, I wanted to cry, then I prayed.
I cleaned out my apartment, moved everything out and back home. I went back today to do the final clean up, it was empty, I stood there and tried to smile, but I wanted to cry and get mad, but I just prayed.
I got mad at my best friend, really upset-more so then I have ever been in years w/ her-I almost cried, I got mad, got teary eyed, treated her mean, then prayed. (I think I should've prayed before I treated her inapporiately.)

Despite all the hard times and heart ache, here I stand. Here I am and despite it all, I'm blessed and still trying to encourge others. I have not been myself lately and I think it happens to us all and were all entitled to go through something and deal with it in a manner that we deem necessary.

I'm learning that what seems like a setback can be used as a stepping stone. Yes, I'm hurt, somewhat angry, and discourged-but I am making a choice-and I choose life. It says in the bible, life and death are in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat it's fruit. So, no i'm not going to sit here and sing a sorry song and cry and whine and complain. I refuse to do that. I might be down, but I am NOT out.

So, like I said, Wednesday was the LAST day that I would see 'that' number on my scale. In my mind, it's do or die right now. I have fought my whole entire life with my weight and the scale-I'm tired of it and now, I realize that I have to be committed to eating natural and staying in the gym FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! Even if you can only go for 30 minutes, it's better then nothing!

Life is now getting back to normal again, so now I can focus my all on the gym, a new certification, my articles on www.shapefit.com, and my relationship with God. This year is my year, it is my journey to get to know myself better, to prevail and reach beyond limits. It's my year to grow closer to Christ and do some house cleaning.

I encourge everyone to keep a journal and focus on the what's in front of you, not whats behind you. I can't change yesterday or even an hour ago, but I can change the future and change my thinking as well.

So, it's operation HH.

*Your's in Christ & Health*