~Refelections~

~Reflections~

I was reading last night in my book about beauty! I started doing the chapter 3 series study questions. A few of the questions are as follows:
. What is beauty in your eyes?
. What is a perfect women?
. What does the Lord see as beautiful and how does your opinion compare to it?
. Do you compare yourself to other women, like how you measure up?
The questions went on and on. So, take the time and ponder those questions that I have presented to you. Seriously, take time to sit back, ponder, and acknowledge what and how you truly feel and think.
I realize that beauty is much more then skin deep! I always have! My dad use to tell me, yes your beautiful, but have something to back that beauty up! Don’t just be pretty.
Beauty to me is the total package! Beauty lies within a person and on the outside as well, but as we age the external beauty fades, slowly but surely. However, the internal beauty, the beauty of our heart and character lasts a lifetime.
It’s funny; God is NOT impressed w/ a perfect figure, beautiful eyes, smile, hair, teeth, clothes, style, or anything on the outside! He is more impressed and proud of a woman that has a pure heart, which is kind and pure! Now, how do you match up to his view?
See, I think the perfect woman is a woman that is wise, loving, and kind. A woman that can show her weakness as well as her strength is beautiful to me! A woman that is a good mother, sister, best friend, wife, girl friend is perfect to me, beautiful! How about the women who do it all and still manage to hold it together-I honor that and respect it in the utmost! Honestly, if you look a women who is a mother, a wife, and employee, sister, best friend, and she still has time, love, and kindness to share w/ her mate, children, family, friends, and then at the end of it all tries to give herself a little down time, that’s beauty and that is perfection in my sight!
When you are all alone with no one except for yourself and thoughts how do you see yourself? I pondered this last night and this morning.
When I stand in front of the mirror and see myself-I see my flaws! I do not see my strengths! I see my tummy, my small breast, my not so perfect teeth, and let’s not mention the baby fine hair or the dark spots on my chin! I see all of my flaws; it’s as if they are amplified.
Now, answer this-how many times do we stand in front of the mirror and look beyond the exterior? Most women do a physical outwardly type self up keep: hair, manicure, pedicure, eyebrow arching, facials, but how many times do we do maintain of our heart? How many times do we stop and say, is my heart on point? Are my thoughts of others and myself on point? How does the Lord see me heart? Is there un-forgiveness, jealousy, envy, bitterness, hurt or pain that is dwelling in our heart? Have we been cruel to anyone that means a lot to us? Have we told people that we love, that in fact we love them? How beautiful is your heart? Have you gave anyone an encouraging word or smile or how about a hug? Again, I ask-how beautiful is your heart?
What is the point of being physically beautiful if your insides are ugly and rotten! It means NOTHING!
I realize now that by living in this world our perceptions on beauty are ruled by our society, not by God. We are to be transformed by the renewal of our mind and not be conformed to this world and age! The truth is that most of us are so, so, conformed to this world! I am guilty to the fullest in this spectrum!
I get caught up on the outside, much more then being caught up on the inside! I know that I am NOT the only person guilty of this!
For the majority of my life I have been that girl that had such a pretty face, but was chunky! I was the biggest one out of my friends, I was the one that never got any attention from guys when we went out, I was referred to as being pleasantly plump! Case in point-I was that cute fat girl for the majority of my life. My weight was a yo-yo, up and down, up and down. Finally, when the weight did come off, it was as if I were a butterfly finally breaking out of a cocoon!
I was no longer the fat girl and I got more attention the most of my friends did! Yes, I know what it’s like to be on both sides of the road, the fat girl versus the fit girl. At one point in my life, I had reached the point that I felt I could have anyone-and for the most part, I really could. I got exactly who I wanted and lived to pay for it.
I stayed w/ a man for over 4 years! I gave him my youth, 22 years old, and finally I was at a place of self confidence, love, and appreciation for myself and I allowed him to take away what God had given me! Yes, he took my confidence, pride, value, kindness, joy, my smile, the sound of my laughter, and external beauty away. I allowed his insecurity to eat me up and pull me apart. I exchanged laughter and joy for tears and depression! I gave up family and friends for a man who didn’t appreciate and ended up giving me a headache, broken heart and almost a nervous breakdown. There were days where I looked in the mirror and I wondered; how is this that is looking at me? So smart, yet so stupid! So strong, but so weak! You are living in hell! Smiling on the outside, keeping it all together, but everything was breaking at the seams from the inside-including me.
I was so nervous, in a complete state of depression and confusion that my skin looked like small ant hills! I was nervous! I was hurting, I went through more then any girl my age should’ve went through. At the beginning, I knew my worth and who I was and at the end-all I knew was that I wanted to be home with my family and far away from him. I lost all I had gained, in every aspect of the word!
The whole point of this story of this man and me is this; never let the world or a man or women determine your worth! If he builds you up, that’s okay, but do NOT let him by any means break you down or make you feel like your ugly in any way shape or form! You are beautiful; you are created in God’s perfect image! God makes no mistakes! Remember that! So you being here, on this earth, even just reading this is no mistake! Love yourself and be grateful for who you are and ask the Lord to change you from THE INSIDE OUT, NOT THE OUTSIDE IN! That was my prayer this morning; allow my insides to be beautiful in your sight! If there is anything ugly, remove it or bring it to my knowledge so I can correct it.
Now at the ripe age of 28 I can look at myself some days and appreciate it! I’m still growing day by day! My idea of beauty now is much different then in my early 20’s. I value different things now, then I did then and I’m sure when I’m 38, I will look back at my view of beauty, at 28 and laugh. It’s okay, that’s what growing up and maturing is all about!
My last word:
I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting to be beautiful on the outside. I don’t think that it displeases the Lord to see women want to look good for themselves or husbands or just their significant other! I think he is pleased w/ the fact that you do care about your body to train it and want to eat healthy. However, I think was displeases him is when we bash ourselves about our flaws or what we think are flaws. Stop and think, he created us, if we beat ourselves up; it’s like chewing out the chef who made your dinner! Not a good feeling!! That hurts him! Love yourself where you are and strive to become a better you, not a better me or someone one TV, but a better you, but please, start this process from the inside out! Start examining your heart and motives as much as your meals and calorie expenditure! It’s more important! If we give the Lord his time, he will do things for us! I believe that! Lastly, do not let this world’s definition of beauty be yours, because you will be misled and hurt for the rest of your life! TV is make-believe, magazines are airbrushed, real wear are NOT all a size 4! Everyone women does not have perky breast or perfect hair, etc! Love you for who you are! See yourself the way that God sees you, not how this world sees you!